Friday, February 5, 2010

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My BirthMother Story

I am a birthmother from Charleston,SC. It all started back in Nov. 2004. I was sick for a couple of weeks and than it hit me, I could be pregnant. My life was not stable at all at that time. My birthdaughter's Father broke up with me after a 2 year relationship because I got pregnant. The next thing I know, my Brother showed up at my door wanting me to move in with him and his Wife while I was pregnant. I hated bothering them but, I knew I had to live in a safe, happy atmosphere. The next 9 months I lived with my family. I went to every doctor's appt. that I had, never cancelled any appts. My Parents was not happy about the situation I was in. I kept wishing that Mary's Birthfather would come to me while I was carrying her and work things out so, we could all be a happy family. All that he did was, come in and out of my life for the nine months I was pregnant. He would tell me that we will work things out, but it never happened. At 6 months pregnant, I was sooooo sad because my Father would not even talk to me. I decided that I needed to give my Daughter up for adoption. I went to my Parents house and told my Father what my plan was to do. It was happy to hear that. He said that I would be very selfish to keep my daughter. I knew deep down that this is what I needed to do. The next thing I did was went back to my Brother's house and told them the news. They were not happy about it but, they knew that this wasn't their choice to make. I got on their computer and found an adoption agency and the next thing I knew, I had a family picked out and I was in contact with them. I wanted them to come up the day after I gave birth and than I would sign my parental rights at that time. In May 2005 I was just waiting for my beautiful daughter to come into the world. My due date was July 11, 2005. I ended up moving in with my Parents in around the end of May. My Mother took me to every doctor's appt. I didn't have a car so, I had to depend on my Family on everything. I hated it but, I knew at the time that I had to ask for help so, me and my unborn daughter was taken care of. It was so funny because, every morning my Father would ask me if this was the day, and I would tell him I don't think so, than I woke up July3, 2005, it was my Parents wedding anniversary. I was full of energy. I had my breakfast and the next thing I knew I was scrubbing my bathroom. My Mother came in and told me to stop and go sit down. I did what she said. I was sitting there watching telelvision with my Mom and the next thing I knew I felt something wet in my pants. I got up and went to the bathroom, and I knew then that my water broke. I stayed calm and went and told my Mom. She told me to call my sister in law and see what she thinks I should do. My Mother never had natural children. I was adopted, so she didn't know what to expect when it comes to giving birth. Anyway my sister in law told me to call my Doctor. I was told to go to the hospital. I got to the hospital at 12:30pm and I was told that yes my water broke and they told us that it would be awhile before I gave birth. The went ahead and got my labor started and my Little Angel didn't want to wait any longer. My Mother and my Sister inlaw was in there with me when I gave birth. I done it totally natural because, I wanted to feel every part of giving birth. I didn't want to feel drugged up or anything. I also didn't want my daughter to be under any drugs either. I gave birth at 5:30pm on July 3, 2005. The next thing I knew all of my family left me there and they told me that they wanted me to spend one on one time with my birthdaughter. After they left, I called the parents to be to come to the hospital the next morning. They were so excited when they got that call. The next call I made was to Mary's birth father. He told me that he did not want to come and see her so, I hung up and spent the whole night and the next morning with my beautiful little angel. My sister inlaw came to the hospital and took more pictures. She spent time with my little angel while I took a shower. The adoptive parents came up and we spent time together enjoying watching my birthdaughter. My parents came up and my Attorney showed up so, the time came to sign my rights over to the parents that I choose to be parents for my beautiful little girl. I signed the papers and I said what I thought would be my final goodbyes to my beautiful little angel. My Mom took me back to her house and I went to sleep. I was so tired. The following evening, we were having dinner and the phone rang. My Dad answered and it was my Attorney. I got the worse news ever. The adoptive parents decided not to adopt her and left her at the hospital all alone. It was terrible!!!!!! I didn't know what to do. I knew that my daughter was well taken care of at the hospital, but still she was alone!!!! The Attorney told me to think about it and to call him the next morning. I thought about it all night and the next morning I called the Attorney and asked him to find another loving, caring couple to adopt my beautiful angel. I also told the Attorney that they needed to agree to an open adoption. I wanted to make sure that I could keep in touch and watch Mary grow up. Well he found a couple for me that lived a few hours away from me. I had to go up and sign the papers all over again. It was the hardest thing for me to ever do. I felt so sorry for my Mother, this was very hard on her. A Social Worker took Mary from the hospital to her house and waited for the adopted parents to be to arrive at her house to get their new bundle of joy!! We met the next day for lunch and exchanged phone numbers and I said goodbye to Mary. It was sooo hard, I walked out of the resturant crying.